Ellen Axson Wilson to Woodrow Wilson

At last I have letters from my darling again,–three of them, those of the 12th, the 19th, & the 22nd of April! And the cablegram announcing Margaret's return to Balt. also came today, forwarded by the Smiths from Florence. So, as you say, it is too late for anxiety about dear Margaret,– except indeed a little about her eyes! They are her weak point you know, and I am so afraid she will overtax them in her efforts to “catch up.” She is very much inclined to get up and study very early in the morning before she has had anything to eat and the oculists say there is nothing in the world so bad for the eyes. Will you please warn her – indeed command her on that point? It is well known how badly measles affect the eyes. Since her illness has kept you from taking the Southern trip, it almost resigns me to it, for I dreaded it for you exceedingly, and for myself too; for it seemed to make the separation more absolute. It has taken a great load off my mind to know that it is not to be,— or rather has not been!

But that Margaret too has been ill certainly makes the situation complete! That they should all be ill, and that one or another of them should be ill during practically the whole time of my absence from home is strange indeed. I am certainly being bitterly punished for my selfishness in leaving home. And last year when I went Jessie was paralysed, and when I went south Stockton had appendicitis! Well, I hope I have my lesson by heart at last!

The doctor says Jessie is doing splendidly; her throat is well; she is very bright, says she does'nt feel weak and is “hungry all the time.” She has been living on milk with egg & whiskey in it, but now, after provoking delays of three or four days, we have a lot of fine chicken jelly from Rome, also some delicious zwieback to make milk toast with, and I think she is already better for it. In spite of the many good symptoms,— kidneys also in perfect condition,— I have been miserable because her pulse was so slow and I am inevitably, after the Cleveland and Finley cases, haunted with the dread of heart failure. The pulse varied from 58 to 64, 80 you know being normal, but today it has got up to 74, so I am much more cheerful. It seems to vary with people anyhow, mine is 80 but Mary Hoyts is only 72 and the nurses 68. Jessie's is perfectly regular & not weak, & the doctor assures me I have nothing to fear. He says he was anxious about it at first but she is doing so very well, that he is now sure she must have naturally a slow pulse. She is given a little stimulant every two hours. I have written to Dr. Bull to consult him about the pulse. Both doctors Her heart is examined her heart every day with a stesthoscope and is declared all right. Dr. Armanni seems very capable & intelligent; and you cannot imagine anyone more kind and sympathetic. We all simply love him. He brings Jessie flowers every day or sends them by his beautiful little girl. They are the most reckless people here about contagion you ever imagined; doctor, landlady & all insisted that Mary and I should go out down to our meals; and to protect those poor unsuspicious tourists I had to beg Dr Bull to forbid my doing so. Even he said that “if the landlady was willing it was all right.” Can you wonder that Jessie caught it in such a country. I of course and uneasy about spreading the contagion by means of the drives which Mary & I are ordered to take every afternoon. We go from 5 to 6, & they certainly do me a world of good in resting & cheering and generally toning me up. The country and the weather are both exquisitely beautiful; spring is at its most perfect moment, and there is an indescribable wealth of wild-flowers. We bring Jessie a several new sorts every day and her room is a perfect bower. How lovely it will be when she can take the drives too! There is surely healing in this delicious air. There is absolutely no element of beauty lacking in the landscape. The humblest peasant's cot is a thing of beauty and the old grey town is truly noble with its great beautiful old churches and campaniles and its weather-beaten but stately palazzos that seem an original part of the ever-lasting hills. Most of them date from the 13th Century,– St Francis time, —when Assisi was a gay & wealthy city;– but now its only importance is ecclesiastical. There is a bishop, and the Franciscan monks, of course, swarm in it with their schools, asylums, &c.

Our throats continue perfectly well, so we have almost certainly escaped the dipththeria. Mary Hoyt is a perfect angel,— such an unspeakable help & comfort! I tried hard to get her to go on with the Smiths, or at least to go the first of next week, but she insists she will not leave us until we are on the steamer at Genoa. Isn't it good in her to give up so much of her precious time in Europe? — and I actually had a battle to get the proud thing to let me pay her board here. As if it would not be perfectly disgraceful if I didn't, when she is giving up so much for us and nursing Jessie too.

Dr. Bull's bill has come and for him and the assistant it is $160.00! Terrible! isnt it? And I had to pay their board here, carriage hire, &c besides. I am now paying board for four people all the time, & there still is the Assisi doctor, the trained nurse for a month, &c. &c My Rome druggists bill is also $20.00. I begin to be afraid that even my big thousand dollar, letter of credit will not take us safely home! I have spent $300.00 including bills here at hotel up to date.— Dr Bull & the drugs would make it nearly $500.00. If it turns out at the last that I really need more Mary can let me have a hundred dollars, and will you please, in that case, send to her at the American Express Co. in London $100.00 worth of American Express Co. checks. I will enclose the address on a separate piece of paper. She has these “checks” instead of a letter of credit. Alas, my poor dear! I am sorry this ill-fated visit must be so expensive too!

We are having the most amusing time for want of our trunks! They were sent from Rome to Florence ten days ago; We telegraphed for them to be returned here, & had a note from the company on Saturday that they would be forwarded “as soon as they reached Florence.” The Smiths found them calmly reposing at the Pension, and now by my orders will unpack them & send me just what I need, so that the rest need not be exposed to infection. Perhaps by Sat. next we may have a change of clothing. Jessie & I have each one night-gown; Mary, the nabob has two, & has given of her superfluity to Jessie. My one gown is also gracefully draped about my waist all day to protect my one skirt from dirt & germs.

A gown designed a double debt to pay, A gown by night, a pinafore by day!

It is astonishing how much one can do without when one must,– with perfect equanimity too!This is a comically primitive place. The medicine is sent from the chemist in an old chianti (wine) bottle with the woven straw about it, the disinfectant in another larger one with no lable & not even a cork! Yet the doctor is so intelligent & more “antiseptic” in his methods than Dr Wykoff.

But it is time for me to stop & go back to my little one. You must not think of us, dear heart, as unhappy. I am, on the contrary, unspeakably thankful & relieved and my anxiety grows less every day. Now that the pulse is going up I expect that by Saturday I will not be anxious at all but will be enjoying deeply this beautiful place & even, next week, going to see the great “Giottos” that we came here for! I do not dare to say how unspeakably I love you, darling, or how my heart bleeds to think of the anxiety we must cause you! But to think how happy we will be when we are in each others arms again. Dear love from us both to all,– am so relieved to hear of Stocktons well-being. I did not mention “dipththeria” in my cablegram for fear you would worry about my throat.