Margaret Woodrow Wilson to Eleanor Randolph Wilson McAdoo
Title
Margaret Woodrow Wilson to Eleanor Randolph Wilson McAdoo
Creator
Wilson, Margaret Woodrow, 1886-1944
Identifier
WWP19647
Date
c. 1936-1940
Description
Margaret A. Wilson writes Eleanor Wilson McAdoo with news from the Aurobindo ashram in India.
Source
Eleanor Wilson McAdoo Papers, University of California, Santa Barbara
Publisher
Woodrow Wilson Presidential Library & Museum
Subject
Wilson family
Contributor
Woodrow Wilson Presidential Library & Museum staff
Language
English
Text
Beloved Sister
I feel so ashamed of myself that I could fill a whole page with apologies and execrations against myself or I could let the shame parayse me into postponing this letter again. It is hard to believe that one can love another person really and yet be so selfish and inconsiderate as not to give oneself in letters to them! As I am learning more about the make-up of us humans here where they teach us to distinguish the nature, the natural man as Saint Paul used to call it, from the soul and the Divine from which it springs- if I did not know full well by now that the nature, the creature, to use another of Saint Paulsexperssions, is very complex, made up of parts that war with each other constantly, I would despair of any salvation for me. I am learning that in each of us there are portions of our nature that are more subtlised and sensitised than the rest and that they respond to the Divine influences and promptings from within more easily than the grosser parts. It depends too upon our individual development which parts are sensitive and which are thick and dull. So I do not say except in my dull and discouraged moments- I dont love at all- Im altogether selfish- there is no health in me, Im no good as I used to do and still do, as I say, when I am way down. Now such thoughts are just miserable cries from the groaning travailing creature- In the days which are gone and gone to stay when I doubted that there was anything Divine in me, I used to really think those things and worse about myself. And so darling I am not filling this page with useless apologies, but I will say that there is a lot of selfishness and self indulgence in my make-up, a dreadful lot, which I ask your forgiveness for, especially when it causes you suffering. But God be praised there is a subtle part too, that recognises and loves what it recognises of Beauty and Truth. Can one recognise even a little of either Beauty or Truth and not love it? And it is by means of that part that my soul sees, and always has seen the sheer beauty of you and the Truth Beauty-Truth that is in you and that you reveal in so many ways. That part does know a little how to love and adore, the beautiful sister that God has given me.
I feel so ashamed of myself that I could fill a whole page with apologies and execrations against myself or I could let the shame parayse me into postponing this letter again. It is hard to believe that one can love another person really and yet be so selfish and inconsiderate as not to give oneself in letters to them! As I am learning more about the make-up of us humans here where they teach us to distinguish the nature, the natural man as Saint Paul used to call it, from the soul and the Divine from which it springs- if I did not know full well by now that the nature, the creature, to use another of Saint Paulsexperssions, is very complex, made up of parts that war with each other constantly, I would despair of any salvation for me. I am learning that in each of us there are portions of our nature that are more subtlised and sensitised than the rest and that they respond to the Divine influences and promptings from within more easily than the grosser parts. It depends too upon our individual development which parts are sensitive and which are thick and dull. So I do not say except in my dull and discouraged moments- I dont love at all- Im altogether selfish- there is no health in me, Im no good as I used to do and still do, as I say, when I am way down. Now such thoughts are just miserable cries from the groaning travailing creature- In the days which are gone and gone to stay when I doubted that there was anything Divine in me, I used to really think those things and worse about myself. And so darling I am not filling this page with useless apologies, but I will say that there is a lot of selfishness and self indulgence in my make-up, a dreadful lot, which I ask your forgiveness for, especially when it causes you suffering. But God be praised there is a subtle part too, that recognises and loves what it recognises of Beauty and Truth. Can one recognise even a little of either Beauty or Truth and not love it? And it is by means of that part that my soul sees, and always has seen the sheer beauty of you and the Truth Beauty-Truth that is in you and that you reveal in so many ways. That part does know a little how to love and adore, the beautiful sister that God has given me.
Original Format
Letter
To
McAdoo, Eleanor Wilson, 1889-1967
Files
Citation
Wilson, Margaret Woodrow, 1886-1944, “Margaret Woodrow Wilson to Eleanor Randolph Wilson McAdoo,” c. 1936-1940, WWP19647, Eleanor Wilson McAdoo Collection at the University of California-Santa Barbara, Woodrow Wilson Presidential Library & Museum, Staunton, Virginia.