Bringing Up Fodder

Bringing Up Fodder

Alfalfa Club

WWP16943

1953 May 22

A play about the origins of the Alfalfa Club.

Cary T. Grayson Papers, Woodrow Wilson Presidential Library, Staunton, Virginia

English

An authentic version
in song and story
of the birth of a great tradition
known as
The Alfalfa ClubPresented on the occasion of the

SPRING PLANTING FESTIVITIES

of

The Alfalfa Club
Hollin Hall, Fairfax County, Virginia

Dedicated to
Charles Porterfield Light
Grand Old Man
of the
Alfalfa Club

The “old”, not according to the calendar but indicative of the
deep affection in which he is held by all who have known him.

THE PLAYERS
(In order of their appearance) THE CHORUS: Doubling as Kansas farmers and Washington officials

Leonard Stokes
Floyd Sherman
Edward Hayes
J. Alden Edkins
Kenneth Christie, Director

ALFALFA CLUB QUARTETTE:
William F. Raymond
Dwight E. Rorer
Bernard T. Fitzgerald
Sampson P. Holland*

The Greek Cantor was the Ed Sullivan of the earliest dramas. As the people’s representative, he interpreted for them the hidden moral lessons of the play as it proceeded. Our apologies to Aristophanes. The setting is a mid-western country school house; the time, circa 1913. A curfew is heard tolling in the distance. Farm hands are plodding homeward, chanting, “It ain’t gonna rain no more”. Members of the Lodge, Patrons of Husbandry, Henry Agard Wallace Chapter #211, come in ones and twos for a special meeting. As they discuss the dearth of gin and rum, they look at the skies. The County Farm Agent bustles in and deposits his bulging briefcase on the teacher’s desk.

GREEK CANTOR:In the thirsty state of Kansas
Where nature and prohibition
Brought widespread desolation
To Frank Carlson’s commonwealth—
A group of farmers gathered
To bemoan their two-way thirst,
To pose the age-old problem —
“What the hell we gonna go?”
To get liquids for the pastures
And for the farm hands, too.
To make the meeting move along
They opened it with song.

CHANT OF THE FARMERS:
One: Sowing in the morning
All: Sweating in the morning
One: Sowing in the noontide
All: Where not a cloud relieves.
One: Waiting for the harvest
All: Where the hell’s the harvest?
We can’t come rejoicing
When there ain’t no sheaves!

(Chorus)
Bringing in the sheaves
Bringing in the sheaves
We can’t come rejoicing
When there ain’t no sheaves!(

Second Verse)
One: Thirsting in the sunshine
All: Where it’s hot as hades
One: Thirsting in the shadow
All: In Carrie Nation’s state!
One: What’s the good of sheaves, boys
All: If we had the sheaves, boys
Thanks to prohibition
We couldn’t celebrate!

(Chorus)
Bringing in the sheaves
Bringing in the sheaves
We can’t come rejoicing
When there ain’t no sheaves!

GREEK CANTOR:
When their happy hymn was o’er —
The County Agent took the floor.

COUNTY FARM AGENT:
As an agricultural expert, B.A., M.A., Ph. D.
I say the answer to your problem lies in Washington, D. C.
Where I’ve learned our drought is nothing
To the kind of dryness that’s
In the fusty-dusty records of the Federal bureaucrats
Whose Noble Experiments with humans, plants and sprouts
Have given us speak-easies, and Treasury handouts.

GREEK CANTOR:
The farmers cheered and cried, “He’s right!
Let Washington do it! They’ll solve our plight!”
Then up spoke plain old Farmer Jim—
There’s one in every crowd—
He said, “You’re off your trolley, boys,”
And here’s what he allowed:

FARMER JIM:
That stuff don’t go for Farmer Jim.
I reckon I ain’t the type to trim
My sails by rules on a government shelf;
I’m a rugged individualist
And not no robot — and I insist
On working my worries out by myself.

FIRST VOICE:
That’s out of date
In the Welfare State!S

ECOND VOICE:
Jim’s just a contrary
Old reactionary.

THIRD VOICE:
Please understand my position—
I’m all for free enterprise
Lower taxes and recognition
Of the right to open competition
But our case is different!
When the skies won’t rain
And the stills won’t run
I’m for relief from Washington!

FOURTH VOICE:
You’re right, you’re right as rain
Which we may never see again!
I’m against relief for industree
For labor and the heathen Chinee
—But the whole wide world depends on me!
The population will starve—you’ll see,
Without farmer incentive
Through subsidy!
I move we follow the Ph. D.
And beat it for Washington, DC

MIXED VOICES
Aye! Aye!
Hooray! Hooray!

GREEK CANTOR:
The motion was put.
The vote was taken.
The ayes drowned out
Jim’s negation.
The Chairman said
“Let’s go, let’s run
And take our troubles to Washington!”

MARCHING SONG OF THE FARMERS:
On, on to Washington
On, on to Washington
Where we’ll learn the way to run
Our farmlands in the West.
Hike, hike for Washington,
We’ll all strike for Washington
For it’s plain to everyone
That Washington knows best.

FARMER JIM:
Well, I ain’t goin’, I don’t agree,
With having professors tellin’ me.VOICE:
Okay, Jim, stay — but I reply
That though the bureaucrats may be dry
As the climate of Kansas — don’t forget
That Washington’s wet!

DRINKING SONG OF THE FARMERS:
How right you are
How dry we are
And that is why
We’re going far
We’re on the run
To Washington
Where every corner
Has a bar.
To get a drink
We know there are
No other guys
Who’ll go so far.

The scene: A conference room fo the Department of Agriculture in Washington, DC. The Delegation of Farmers, hats in hand, file in and take their places on one side of a gleaming conference table. The group rises respectfully as the Deputy Deputy’s Deputy marches in with measured tread, preceded by various lesser officials equipped with books, files, and a stenotype machine. All take their places around the table at a signal from the Deputy Deputy’s Deputy.

GREEK CANTOR:
The Agricultural Dialecticians
Brimming with long-range predictions
And backed by several miles of files
Turned on their bland official smiles
As the Chief Planner at their head
—The Deputy Deputy’s Deputy — said

DEPUTY DEPUTY’S DEPUTY:
Well, gentlemen, what is the broad and collective
Matter on which you desire a Directive?

CHAIRMAN OF FARM DELEGATION:
Our Kansas delegation, sir, is seeking information
On how solve effectively our two-way drought.
Perhaps inducing rains on the thirsty Kansas plains
Is a thing official brains might figure out.D.D.D.:
I see the matter’s vital, and we’ll order and direct
That it be expedited, cited, channelized and checked,
Taken up to Higher Levels, copied in Quadruplicate
For inspection by Interior, the Treasury and State,
And by stepping up procedure I assure you we’ll contrive
Say, a Tentative Projective by December, ’55.

CHAIRMAN OF DELEGATION:
In ’55? But we made it clear
We want an answer now and here.

PROBLEM SONG OF THE FARMERS:
There’s a dry spell in Kansas
And no wet well in Kansas
And it’s plain hell in Kansas
And we are asking how
We can cure drought in Kansas
Make liquids spout in Kansas
For men and plants in Kansas—
And we want our answer now.D.D.D:
Citizens, don’t you realize that
You can’t hurry a dictocrat?
We know your problem’s vital but—

SONG OF THE DEPUTIES:
It’s gotta go through channels
Through bureaus and through panels
It’s gotta be initialed
By every bureaucrat
And passed by secretaries
And supernumeraries
And noted and inspected
And filed — and after that
We’ll take it under advisement
We’ll take it under advisement
And study what you guys meant
For maybe a year or two.

ALL SHOUT:
That’s Washington for you!Twilight falls softly o’er Main Street of a Midwestern county seat town. The clock in the Court House tower strikes the hour of seven. Farmer Jim wends his weary way down the center of the deserted thoroughfare, patently in quest of something important.

GREEK CANTOR:
Back in Kansas, Farmer Jim
Fought to save his acres
But the prospect was grim.
He was sunk in gloom
Deep as a man can sink.
Because of his thirsty pastures?
No!
Because he needed a drink.
So he shook the dust from off his feet
And flivvered to the county seat.
Farmer Jim sings:

SONG OF FARMER JIM:
Where, oh where, can I find a drink
Oh where, oh where, can I go?
Where, oh where, can I find a drink
Oh where, oh where, can I go?

VOICE:
Go down the alley
And follow the path
And ask for Bootlegger Joe!

GREEK CANTOR:
Four hours later....
Jim and his wagon, both well loaded
Forgot that his land was so eroded.
Jim sings as he rides home: —

SONG OF FARMER JIM:
Who’s afraid of the big bad drought? The big bad drought? The big bad drought?
Who’s afraid of the big bad drought?
Not old Gentleman Jim!

GREEK CANTOR:
Jim gazed across his dusty farm
And took another swig.
“I must be rolling drunk,” he said,
“For I think I see a sprig
A blade, a sprout, a growing plant
Of something—something green!”
He rolled his eyes and looked again—
“By gum, that is what I seen!”

FARMER:
What was it he seen?

GREEK CANTOR:
Let Jim make it clear.
Speak up, Old Timer. Take it from here.

FARMER JIM:
Sez I to myself
That plant I think
Without a doubt deserves a drink.
I’ll open my jug
And sprinkle it round
As a special treat for that thirsty ground.
SAY — lookit that plant there,
Watch it go!
It's sorta racing this way, I think
It’s comin’ over to get a drink
The whole field’s rapidly turning green
It’s the durndest thing I ever seen;
It could be — must be — yep, I knew it
ALFALFA, spreading quick as a wink
And going the farthest to get a drink.

GREEK CANTOR:
The others came back
From Washington town
With their temperature up
And their spirits down
A disappointed, disgruntled gang
As may be told by the song they sang.

RALLYING SONG OF THE FARMERS:
We are sadder and we’re wiser since we’ve been to Washington
Where the planners all are busy and their job is never done,
Where they ponder all the questions and they never answer one
So this is the song we sing:

(Chorus)
Down with the administration!
Down with the administration!
Down with the administration—
They’ve lost the farm bloc vote!

(Second Verse)
We thought they’d solve our problem with a wisdom most profound
But all they ever gave us was the same old runaround
And so to hell with Washington, now we are homeward bound
For we never got a gol—durned thing.

(Chorus)
Down with the administration!
Down with the administration!
Down with the administration—
They’ve lost the farm bloc vote!

FARMER JIM:
I tried to tell you gents
There wasn’t any sense
In runnin’ off to Washington, DC
But if you’ll take a glance
At my fields, there’s a chance
That you can learn a thing or two from me.
Alfalfa—that’s the stuff
When there ain’t rain enough
It doesn’t put Alfalfa on the blink.
So that’s my cure for drought
For there ain’t any doubt
Alfalfa goes the farthest for a drink.

FIRST VOICE:
Look at those fields, it’s a sight to scan!

SECOND VOICE:
Jim, you’re a wizard, a wonder man!

THIRD VOICE:
Hooray for Alfalfa!!

FOURTH VOICE:
Three cheers for Jim!

FIFTH VOICE:
Hip, hip—let’s all of us drink to him!

SIXTH VOICE:
And we ought to drink to his plant, I think
Because it goes farthest for a drink!

FARMER JIM:
I didn’t join you before, I know,
But now I’m thinkin’ we ought to go
And see them fellers in Washington
And tell the experts what we done.
What cause Aflalfa to beat the drought
And how ’twas likker made it sprout.
It’s something them fellers should know about.
It’ll help their Point Four program out.

ALL:
Let’s tell ’em, kind. Let’s put ’em wise.
Let’s show those high—domed Washington guys!

MARCHING SONG OF THE FARMERS:
Back, back to Washington
Back, back to Washington
We’ll track back to Washington
To Washington we’ll go.
To tell guys in Washington
They ain’t wise in Washington
And teach guys in Washington
Some things they ought to know.The action cuts back to the conferecen room in the Department of Agriculture, Washington, DC. The walls are lined with charts and graphs, loose sheets of paper covered with doodles are scattered over the floor. Members of the Delegation of Farmers and of the Government group have removed their coats. The prevailing atmosphere reeks of mutual understanding and joyous co—operation.

GREEK CANTOR:
The Federal experts plotted and charted
The plan the Kansas boys imparted,
An lo and behold! a miracle happened—
They didn’t file nor yet delay
But acted upon it that very day!D.D.D.:
While we wait for the plants to sprout
And repeal in Kansas to come about
We’ll give you a subsidy hand-out.
We’ll call it Parity
Or some such name
So you’ll feel proud and not ashamed.
I've one more thing to say,
Which I’ll do without delay.
At once, on the spot,
Pronto, here, now, today,
Let’s all have a drink on it—
Right away!

DRINKING SONG OF THE FARMERS:
How dry we are!
Let’s find a bar!
No matter if we wander far.
Between us is this binding link
We’ll go the farthest
For a drink!FARMER JIM:
Wait a minute! We have a notion
Which we’ll adopt without a motion.
Gentlemen, since you and we are
Like that Alfalfa in going far
To get a drink, I say why not
From an Alfalfa Club on the spot.
Because nobody, you must agree
Will go so far to a drink as we.

ALL CHEER
GREEK CANTOR:
Anyone here is surely a dub
Who will not join this Noble Club.
Gentlemen, what’ll you have?

FARMERS AND PLANNERS SING IN UNISON:
Make mine Alfalfa!
Make mine Alfalfa!
And together we’ll go our merry way!
We’ll all take Alfalfa!
We’ll all take Alfalfa!
On this happy planting day!

THE ALFALFA CLUB SONG:
Come to the land of Alfalfa
Come where the clocks never chime,
Come where ill humor is only a rumor
And sadness is labeled a crime.
Come where the nights are all gladness
And sorrows and care are taboo
Come to the land of Alfalfa;
Good fellowship’s waiting for you.

REPRISE, ALL SINGING:
(Members all march to the fields, carrying their alfalfa plants, singing a new song of promise....)Sowing in the morning,
Sowing seeds of promise.
Sowing in the noontide
And the dewy eve.
If we get repeal, and
Parity from the Treasury
We shall come rejoicing
Bringing in the sheaves!—The End—Synopsis of the Musical Score

BRINGING UP FODDER
The overture, which should precede the play, would bring out, as in Tannhauser, the conflicting emotions of humanity, the innate desire on the part of man to be a free spirit and at the same time to dip into the public treasury.A quick diminuendo leads to a light-hearted fugue expressing the joy and anticipation of harvest, and introducing the melodic theme of the opus — [A bar from a piece of music with the lyric “Sowing in the morning”.]Comes the sudden realization of frustration because of lack of moisture, and the changed mood is indicated with exquisite subtlety by the oboes and bassoons with— [A bar from a piece of music with the lyric “Where the hell’s the harvest?”]Music lovers will note that the librettist skillfully returrns to this haunting theme again and again. Even in the climatic hallelujah chorus which approaches hysteria the struggle is apparent as the wood winds’ tremolo counterpoint expresses doubt and misgiving— [Anotther line of music; “Parity from the Treasury”]

The opening pastoral theme increases in tempo and volume, building with barbaric effect until it reaches a peak of chaotic sound in the speak-easy scene of Act III— [A line of music; “Where, oh where, can I get a drink?”]

The effect of alcohol, albeit illegal, upon the spirits of men, is delineated by the stretto of the fugue as it merges from A minor through sharp descending chords with crashing dissonance of brass and percussion instruments. Here the genius of the composer is clearly in evidence as he subtly portrays how the emotions of grief and depression are dispelled by an alcoholic beverage and in their place appears exultation, a sense of power, and moral as well as physical joie de vivre. This change reaches its climax in the lilting bravado of— [A bar of music; “Who’s afraid of the big bad drought?”]

Only art of the highest order is able to relieve the terrific tension or thirst on the part of the hearers at this point, and our composer does it. Far in the background can be discerned the faint plaintive notes of the harps and ocarinas, giving the impression of cattle lowing in the fields and of chipmunks chuckling over their nuts. The association of hickory nuts with other kinds of nuts brings the necessary relief from a pain well-nigh unendurable. To the members of various Committees, without whose application and hard work this play would not be as impossible as it is. Chairman of the Committee of the Whole: Wm. Brent Young.

Chairman of the Committee of Committees: Thomas W. Brahany.
Charimen, Production Committee: Dean G. Acheson, Phelps H. Adams, Floyd D. Akers, Winthrop W. Aldrich, Clarence A. Apsinwall, Warren R. Austin.
Production Managers: Isaac Bacharach, Bruce Baird, Charles H. Baker, Alben W. Barkley, Daniel W. Bell, William T. Bell, James T. Berryman.
Assitant Production Managers: Leslie L. Biffle, Hiram Bingham, R. Howard Bland, Herbert C. Blunck, G. Calvert Bowie, David Tenant Bryan, Eugene Edward Buck, Walker Showers Buel, John W. Burke, H. Ralph Burton, Harry Flood Byrd, Harry Flood Byrd, Jr., Francis Byrnes, Daniel J. Callahan, Jr.Directors: Amon G. Carter, Clifton B. Cates, E. Taylor Chewning, Philip O. Coffin, James E. Colliflower, Tom Connally, Orville Crouch.

Assistants to the Directors: John W. Davis, Charles S. Dewey, Lewis W. Douglas, Charles D. Drayton, George Thomas Dunlop, Glen E. Edgerton, William T. Faricy, Wm. M. Fechteler, Homer Ferguson, Bernard T. Fitzgerald, John Spalding Flannery, Philip B. Fleming, Robert Vedder Fleming, Robert W. Flemming.Casting: John Clifford Folger, James W. Fullbright, Edwin W. Gableman, Francis Pendleton Gaines, G. Angus Garrett, Charles Carroll Glover, Charles Carroll Glover, III, Philip L. Graham, Gordon Grayson.

Scenery: Joseph C. Grew, Gilbert Grosvenor, Melville B. Grosvenor, John William Guider, Wade H. Haislip, George E. Hamilton, Jr., George L. Harrison, Nelson T. Hartson, Jay G. Hayden, Ray Henle, Arthur M. Hill, Joseph M. Hill, Joseph H. Himes.Set Construction: Sampson P. Holland, Robert H. Jackson, Frank R. Jelleff, Eric Johnston, Jesse H. Jones, Howard W. Kacy, Samuel H. Kauffman, Edwin R. Keedy, Frank R. Kent, Harry Ryland Kerr, Gilbert G. LaGorce, John Oliver LaGorce, Emory S. Land, William E. Leahy, Blair Lee, III, Charles Porterfield Light.

Scenic Painting: Charles Porterfield Light, Jr., John Marshall Littlepage, Henry Cabot Lodge, Edmund H. Lloyd, Thomas H. MacDonald, Corneal J. Mack, H. Randolph Maddox, Jos. W. Martin, Jr., Wm. McC. Martin, Thomas Branch McAdams, Malcolm S. McConihe, Ben M. McKelway, Thomas W. McKnew.Stage Managers: Eugene Meyer, James F. Mitchell, William Montgomery, Charles Carroll Morgan, Edgar Morris, Arthur G. Newmyer, Ernest Eden Norris, John Lord O’Brian, Daniel J. O’Brien, Robert Lincoln O’Brien.

Properties: John O’Connor, Chauncey G. Parker, Jr., John Elbridge Parker, E. Barrett Prettyman, Sydney R. Prince, Sam Rayburn, William F. Raymond, Stanley F. Reed, Algernon P. Reeves, J. O. RIchardson, William R. Rodenberg, Dwight E. Rorer, Harry Lee Rust, Jr., H. L. Rust, III, Leverett Saltonstall.

Lighting and Illumination: Andrew Saul, Charles Sawyer, Winthrop H. Smith, John W. Snyder, Harry P. Somerville, Carl A. Spaatz, Henry Benning Spencer, Samuel Spencer, Harold E. Stassen, Adolphus Staton, A. Owsley Stanley, John L. Sullivan.Costume Design: W. Stuart Symington, Robert A. Taft, Corcoran Thom, Corcoran Thom, Jr., Edward P. Thomas, Francis D. Thomas, Huston Thompson, Charles H. Tompkins.

Wardrobe: Harry S. Truman, Joseph P. Tumulty, Millard E. Tydings, Alexander A. Vanderbilt, Ralph A. van Orsdel, Fred M. Vinson, Eliot Wadsworth, Edward K. Walsh, RL Walsh, Charles Warren.

Make-up: George White, ALM Wiggins, RB Wigglesworth, Lloyd Bennett Wilson, Lloyd Bennett Wilson Jr., Lewis Gaynor Wood, Robert W. Woolleyy, John Russell Young.